Ecchigo
by popeporkins
Summary: What is a man? A miserable little pile of love pillows.


_I wonder if a ghost girl could-_ he broke his train of thought as he unlocked the door to his house._ as I was saying, I wonder if a ghost girl could suck a di-_

"IIIICCCHIIIIGOOOO!" His thoughts were once again cut off as his father's foot collided with his face. "YOU MUST STOP YOUR IMPURE THOUGHTS!" Isshin bellowed righteously.

"SHUT UP! I'M A 15 YEAR OLD BOY! IMPURE THOUGHTS ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL!" Ichigo defended. Not that he had impure thoughts to a fault you see. As far as Ichigo was concerned, his interest in women was perfectly normal. Excepting the large stack of love pillows he had stashed away in his closet. That might be a little much.

Ichigo lifted his father one handed and threw him out the door, closing and locking it for good measure. He walked into the dining room to find his sisters eating.

"Do you want some food Ichigo?" Yuzu asked sweetly. Yuzu was lucky Ichigo wasn't into incest or loli, not that he would molest his own sister. Much.

"No thanks Yuzu." he replied heading towards the stairs. "I'm not very hungry."

"Ahh, Ichigo." Ichigo turned around at Karin's voice. "There's another one." Ichigo turned to look at the middle aged man that was floating near his shoulder. He looked at him in rage.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Ichigo moaned. "Get lost old man! I don't have time to help you!." Yuzu looked upset at this, but Ichigo was too busy arguing to notice.

"YOUR GUARD WAS DOWN!" Isshin bellowed, conveniently appearing from a nearby window. He drop kicked Ichigo in the face before they punched each other. Isshin fell to the ground unconscious as a result.

"I'm going to bed." Ichigo ground out, heading up the stairs and into the bedroom.

-break-

He locked the door to his bedroom, taking care to make sure it was unbreachable. He looked around cautiously, sneaking next to his bed and sliding it carefully to the side, making sure not to make any noise. He then lifted a floorboard to reveal a peculiar safe. One that contained his most prized possession. He carefully entered the 48-digit number from memory, bouncing in joy when the safe gave a hiss of air as it was unlocked. Ichigo reached down to reveal...

A Japanese love pillow. But not just _any_ Japanese love pillow. A special edition love pillow he waited 2 weeks in line and paid $500 dollars for. He pulled out his affectionately name "Himeko-chan" and laid in bed with her.

"Oh, Himeko-chan, it's times like this that I'm most grateful I have you to talk to." He cuddled up to her. "Forgive me, but I can't help but wish you were here for real." He closed his eyes contentedly. They were forced open when he heard a noise coming from his window. A short woman in a black kimono was currently perched on the edge, paying no attention to the weird young teenager currently holding a pillow. A pillow that happened to look exactly like her.

Ichigo looked wide eyed at the wondrous beauty that had landed in his room. He couldn't help but stared open-mouthed in awe at the morsel of heaven that had been given to him.

"H-Himeko-chan?" Ichigo gasped, reaching out to her. Suddenly, she spoke.

"It's close." she stated seriously. Ichigo smiled.

"Yes Himeko-chan, your master is close!" He jumped towards her in joy, his face streaming tears of happiness. She gave a grunt in surprise when he collided with her lithe frame. He wrapped his limbs around her, chanting "Himeko-chan" as he grinded against her. She looked at him angrily before shoving him off.

"Bakudo No. 1: Sai!" she yelled, satisfied when he gave a grunt of pain.

"Ahh, Himeko-chan! I always knew you were kinky, but to bind me within 5 seconds of our first meeting?" He looked deliriously happy with himself, and it didn't take the woman long to conclude that he was insane.

"I am a Shinigami." She said solemnly.

"Already heading to the role-play? I want to be Texas Tim, and you can be my horse." He gave her a devilish look. She punted him in the face as hard as she could, disgusted when he let out a pleased moan.

"I'm hunting a hollow." She continued, laying out a speech involving horrible drawings and math, not that Ichigo was paying attention. By the time she had taken out the notebook, he was already thinking about what he was going to make for breakfast the following morning. Unfortunately for him, she noticed, and retaliated by crudely drawing a mustache on his face. Ichigo was drawn out of his struggling by a monstrous scream.

"Is that the hollow?" He questioned, suddenly serious.

"Is what?" The Shinigami replied.

"What do you mean? Can't you hear that terrible screaming?" She froze in shock. As soon as he said that, the telltale scream of a hollow sounded in the distance. She opened the door to the hall, getting out of the way and continuing downstairs as a girl stumbled into the doorway.

"I-Ichigo, save Karin." Yuzu weakly stuttered, leaking blood. Ichigo froze. Taking a moment to steel his resolve, he jumped up and headed downstairs as well, stopping when he met the female Shinigami at the bottom. She gave him a condescending look.

"You should stay." She ground out. "You won't do anything but get in the way." Ichigo started at this. Even if she was his beloved Himeko-chan, he couldn't stay there and do nothing could he? He struggled with his binding as she headed out towards the hollow.

Ichigo let out a large groan of exertion as he pulled his arms apart, letting out a sound of relief when the binding came undone. He grabbed whatever was next to him and ran towards the monster, only stopping long enough to glace at Karin, who was in its grip. His heroism was short lived, however, as the monster swatted him out of the way. He got up and wiped the blood from his mouth, giving a slight wince in pain. He glanced up to see the Shinigami get hit by the hollow in his place.

"Himeko-chan." He was in awe. "Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?" Instead of answering, she asked him another question.

"Do you want to power to save your family?" She looked solemn, as was the occasion.

"Yes." It honestly didn't look like he had much of a choice. She held her sword next to his heart.

"I'm Rukia Kuchiki." She said, surprising him deeply.

_So she isn't my Himeko-chan. _He would be lying if he said he wasn't a little disappointed.

"I'm Ichigo Kurosaki." He said, only moments before her blade pierced his heart. There was a flash of light, and by the time Rukia came to, he had already defeated the hollow.


End file.
